Luster Dust on Buttercream

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Looking Good Online is a Piece of Cake!

Finally! A handy-dandy guide to maintaining your online presence and the presence of your bakery!

They say you are what you eat. Well, when you're online, you have to be cake. C.A.K.E.

C is for CAREFUL: Are you careful with what you put online? And I'm not just talking about your bakery Facebook page or your website. You know how people are- there are all kinds of cyber-stalkers out there. Your clients will look at your personal page to see which football team you cheer for. They'll read your personal blogs and troll your Instagram.

The internet is forever. Be careful what you put out there.

Limit your profanities. Don't share private information. Oh, and pretend to be professional. Complete sentences aren't enough, you also have to write with complete words.

Think ul get ur $$ if u rite lik ur txtin? LOL!

And enough with the selfies! If the most interesting thing you have to share is your face (or other parts!), that doesn't say much for you.

A is for APPROACHABLE: Do people feel comfortable contacting you? Do you use a friendly tone online? Use normal language and save the technical jargon for your cake friends.

Don't get snooty when someone mixes up "layers" and "tiers."
Don't try to correct their grammar.
I know, "fondue" drives me crazy, too. But let it go, Elsa.

Remember, you sound just as ignorant to your plumber or your IT guy as a new client sounds to you. Which brings us to...

K is for KIND: Are you using your online presence for kindness?
Do you regularly thank your customers?
If you see another artist make something amazing, share it, compliment it, and make sure you give proper credit!
No Vaguebooking or passive aggressive status updates- that just makes everyone feel uncomfortable.
Don't complain about your customers OR your competition. And don't encourage others to do it, either.
There are plenty of good, kind things to say. If you can't tweet something nice, don't tweet anything at all.

E is for Easy to Find: They can't order from you if they can't find you!

Do you have your Facebook page set up with your city/location? Do you have a Google Place set up so that people will see your name when they search "<your city> cake?"

Keep your website, blog, Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebooks up to date. Post new pictures or updates often.

Make sure your phone number and email are easy to find and tell your clients which you prefer for contact.

That's it!
Careful, Approachable, Kind, and Easy to Find. Think C.A.K.E. online and you're online presence will be nothing but sweet!

Sample Blog Post on How to Order a Cake

You can't expect your clients to know how to order a cake unless you've told them what you expect. Here's (part of) how I did it:

From the Cakeapotamus blog:

Sometimes people seem unsure when they order cakes. They don't know what to ask for or where to start. I've been working on this post for a while now. Since the shop is opening soon, I guess it's OK to post it now.

p.s. This came out to be just a huge wall of text, so I'm adding in random cake pictures here and there to break it up. You're welcome.

How To Order a Cake Like a Pro by Cakeapotamus

1. Plan ahead.

If at all possible, e-mail me (cakeapotamus@gmail.com) as soon as you know the date of the event for which you need your cake. The earlier you contact me, the better your chances of getting on the calendar. Now that I'm making cakes full time, I have much more room on the calendar for cakes. But my schedule can still get full, especially in the fall.

As of right now, I only require deposits on wedding cakes. Unfortunately, I must now require deposits on wedding cakes and parties, and I must also require custom cakes to be paid in full in order to get on the calendar.

In a perfect world, I'd have two weeks notice to plan and order any special materials your cake might need. I can do it with a week's notice most of the time. If you're ordering a cake within a few days of the event, there may be an extra charge for expediting some materials or ingredients.

2. Make your best guess on servings.

I know that you don't have a crystal ball that will tell you exactly how many people will show up to your party. A rough estimate is all we need to determine the size and design of the cake you're ordering and get you on the calendar. If a bunch of people R.S.V.P right before the event and your number changes drastically, just let me know. We can probably adjust things.

3. Be honest about your budget.

How you determine your budget is completely your business, but please be upfront about what you plan to spend on your cake. It's terribly disappointing for everyone to spend a lot of time planning an elaborate, sculpted cake only to find out that it's not in the budget.

Custom cakes are just like any other custom order: custom curtains, custom clothing, custom car detailing are all designed and created just for you. Like all custom items, custom cakes generally cost more.

You get what you pay for.

There's always someone who will do it cheaper.

Because all of my cakes are custom designs, they are all priced individually. The price is based off of the materials and ingredients required to make the cake and the time involved in decorating it. Generally speaking, you can plan on cakes starting at $2/serving for a buttercream cake and $3.50/serving for a fondant cake. Sculpted cakes take a long time and start at $100. Cupcakes start at $20/dozen for a "normal" cupcakes and $25/dozen for cupcakes with filling. Fondant toppers are available for an extra charge.

Sometimes, people say, "I can get a cake for $xx.xx at *grocery store*." That's true, you certainly can. If you are looking for a grocery store cake, by all means, go to the grocery store. "Aren't you afraid of losing a customer?" No. If they're looking for a grocery store cake, they weren't my customer to begin with.

Your Cakeapotamus cake will be baked with ingredients that were purchased just for your cake. Your cake will be decorated with a design that was created just for you. I'm not pulling frozen cakes out of a freezer or icing out of a bucket. I don't use preservatives; your cake will be made within 48 hours of delivery.

That said, I will always respect your budget. I want you to be happy with your cake and will offer you the best options I can within your budget. Usually, I even manage to come in under budget.

**You always have the option of saying, "My budget is _____, I need __#__ servings, I like ___flavor___, and the theme is _____." Surprise me. When I have carte blanche to design the cake, I put extra love and effort into it. **

*I hate that I need to add this, but here we go: No, I will not try to "beat Walmart" in price. I don't mass produce cakes, and I don't work for minimum wage. No, I will not give you a wink winky discount if you promise to tell all your friends. If you do not value my time and ability, odds are your friends won't either. It's OK. Cakeapotamus cakes aren't for everyone.
Also, if you are asking me to donate a cake to your event, please do not act like you are doing me a huge favor. I donate to as many good causes as I am able, but my schedule might just get too full to help you if you roll your eyes, puff your breath, and say, "That's it?" (Yes, that really happened.) And try not to play the "Get your name out there" card... if my name's not out there, how did you hear about me?
Sorry... end of rant.

4. Think flavors.

Have an idea of the flavors you like and don't like. Take a poll of the family (especially the guest of honor) to get an idea of what kind of flavor(s) you're looking for. Also, let me know about special dietary restrictions or allergies.

About those allergies, I have one kitchen and the equipment in it is used on all my cakes.  It is, of course, cleaned and sanitized regularly, but if someone has a severe allergy to an ingredient, please keep in mind that ingredient was probably processed in my cake's equipment at some point.

If you want something inside the cake like stripes, polka dots, tie dye, checkerboard, rainbow or ombre colors, or candy to spill out, please let me know up front so that I can factor that in to the design and pricing of the cake.

5. Do an open-minded google.

If at all possible, google the theme for your event and e-mail links or show me 2-3 cakes that you like. Here's the open-minded part: I will not copy another cake decorator's design without his/her permission. I will contact them to ask permission, though, and they usually say yes.
However, I am happy to design a cake "inspired by" someone else's design, no problem!

Please check out my work and get a feel for my style. I usually don't make a lot of dainty or frou-frou details on cakes. I'm happy to try, of course, but I want you to be happy. If I think I can't make a cake that you will like, I will absolutely let you know.

I LOVE making geeky cakes though.

6. "Simple" does NOT mean "easy".

You know that simple, plain white cake that's all smooth? That cake takes a lot more time to make than a cake with a rough icing texture. And, it's harder! Keeping the icing pure white and making sure there are no flaws... that's tough! Cakes with texture or embellishments are easier because you can just cover up a flaw with a decoration.

I know! Who knew? I would never have thought that before I started making cakes.

When I price a cake, I am basing part of the price on the time involved in decorating. Some things take longer and therefore increase the price of the cake: smooth icing or un-embellished fondant take longer. Chevrons are tough and take a long, long, long time. Fondant or sugar figures, flowers, and bows take time as well.

Some things are surprisingly quick and easy. And some cakes cost less because I really enjoy making them. That Sorting Hat up there? I love making that thing. This swirly cake?

Not as difficult as most people think. Though three tiers of it... not gonna lie, made my hand hurt!

The point is, stay open minded. If you're budget-conscious, I'll absolutely point you toward a design that takes less time. You might be surprised by what's in your budget!

7. Make a pick-up plan.

When you pick up your cake, make sure you have a way for it to ride on a flat surface in an air-conditioned car to your party location or home. Do not leave your cake in the car while you run errands- please take it straight home and leave it, in its box in the coolest part of your home. Also, make sure the box won't slide all around the back of the car- drive it like a newborn baby. First baby, not third.

Alabama is hot in the summer. And spring. And fall. Cakes are made of butter and milk (and sometimes cream cheese). Your cake will melt outdoors. Frosted Art (in Dallas, TX) made a great little video showing what happens to cakes outside in the sun:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGB99v-7Yec

Cakeapotamus is not responsible for cake disasters that occur after you pick up your cake. If you have an emergency, call or bring the cake in ASAP and we'll see what we can to help.

8. Ask questions. 

If you have a question, just ask! I answer e-mails and Facebook messages as quickly as I am able. Some common questions answered:

I don't share recipes.

I do sell icing, fondant, or fondant decorations if you want to make your cake yourself.

I am not currently hiring. However, if you would like me to keep your name on file for the future, e-mail me your resume, a link to an online portfolio of your work (like an imgur album), and a short message that describes what you can do that I can't. (What can you bring to the shop?)

I consider donation requests on an individual basis.

The shop will host tea parties and cupcake decorating parties.

I generally do not provide candles with cake orders, but if you're having your party at Cakeapotamus and you forget the candles or lighter, I've got your back.

I will offer adult classes in the evening. Yes, you can bring your friends. Yes, you can bring your wine. I don't sell any alcohol, so it's strictly BYO (including your glasses), but I'll try to have a corkscrew on hand.


Hopefully, this helps?

No Caking for Assholes: Lesson 3- PRICING!

This post is part three of the NC4A series for cake decorators. If you are not a caker, this post isn't intended for you. But you'll probably read it anyway. Nosy.

Pricing is something of a taboo topic in the cake world. Newbie cakers frequently ask, "How much should I charge for this cake?" and the veteran cakers sigh internally (or out loud) and ignore the question.

Why?

Well, because nobody can answer that for you!

And we all did it! I asked pricing questions when I was new. I think we all did. At some point, there were so many pricing questions flying around the cake world that we decided to answer any "How much should I charge for this?" with "$62.50."

Five tier wedding cake? $62.50.

Looks like $62.50 to me.

Dozen cupcakes? $62.50.

Why can't the cake world give you a straight answer on what you should charge? Well, because that would be cheating. We don't want to do your homework for you.

• We don't know your materials cost. How much will the materials and ingredients for this cake cost? Don't forget to charge for the cake board and box! There's a huge variance in the cost and availability of ingredients across the country (and the world).  

• There's no way we know your overhead. Are you a home baker? Do you have a shop? Employees to pay? Rent? What's your profit margin for your business? 

• Nobody but you knows your hands. How long will it take your hands to bake this cake? To decorate it? To color all the icings or make the fondant? To clean up after? Yes, you should charge for clean up time! That's part of the job. How much do you charge for your time? If you're not charging at least a living wage for your time, you're part of the reason people think they can pay $30 for a 50 serving, two tier cake. If you think you're not good enough to charge for your time, you're wrong. 

You and your time have value.

You should be charging more to create a custom cake than someone gets paid to put together a Whopper. Sadly, there are a lot of cakers out there working for (literally) pennies. Don't believe me? Check your local yardsale site.

Work for free for your family and friends if you want. But if you're going to advertise cakes to the public, you need to act like a professional and charge for your time. Nobody respects people who give it away for free. (Remember high school?)

• We haven't done your market research. What are reputable bakers in your area charging for comparable cakes? You should find out! We're not going to do it for you. And I mean reputable bakers, not the people who are willing to work for free on yardsale sites. They aren't trying to make a living.

Once you've figured out your materials cost, time estimate, overhead, and market comps, you can set your price.

See? This is why nobody can tell you what to charge for a cake. Learning to price your cakes takes a fair amount of trial and error. Just like decorating cakes! Practice, practice, practice.

No Caking for Assholes: Lesson 2

This post is part of the NC4A series for cakers. If you're not a caker, this post isn't for you. But you'll probably read it anyway. I mean, you've come this far, why stop now?

For more No Caking for Assholes goodness, check out my class at CakeFest 2016!

In the past couple of weeks, I've received three separate, unrelated unreasonable cake requests. You know the kind:

"I want this cake, 50 servings, my budget is $45."

All three people contacted me with caviar taste on a cat food budget. As I read each request, I heard the indignant cries of a thousand unruly bakers echoing in the back of my mind, screaming at the injustice of it all. "No caking for assholes!"

My first reaction was to get defensive. After all, these people were asking me to work for less than a dollar per hour. That's not ok! That's offensive!

But then I thought about it. I've been around the cake world enough that getting defensive is my knee-jerk response to requests like this. But what if these clients aren't assholes? What if...

Did you know that I used to be a teacher? Really. And one of my fundamental beliefs in teaching is that you can't expect a student to know something that you, yourself, have not told them. What if cake clients are the same way?

So, I tried something new. Rather than getting offended and defensive and invoking the "No caking for assholes" mentality, I decided to think like a teacher. I had no right expecting these new clients to know how custom cakes are priced because I've never tried to tell them. And if I expect them to know something I never told them... that makes me the asshole!

Well darn. I hate it when I'm the asshole.

I mean, it's not like I'm an expert on what plumbing repair or tax preparation should cost. I have no idea what different things in those professions would cost. I would hate to unintentionally offend someone by offering them 75 cents an hour to fix my sink. But I'm sure I've been that jerk sometime in my life.

This time, rather than being defensive and grumpy (and losing the client), I went for friendly and straightforward. I laid out my pricing structure and bakery minimums. I quoted a reasonable price for the cake design they'd actually requested (that decimal was not where they expected!) and gave some options closer to their budget.

As usual, my clients were super awesome. In two out of three of these cases, they were flexible on their deign and budget and ended up ordering cakes that earned positive reviews! The third client couldn't budge on design or budget (due to outside factors) and ended up ordering from somewhere else. That's fine, too! Cakeapotamus cakes aren't for everyone.

It turns out, if you go into a conversation with a client expecting them to be mean and clueless, that's what you'll find. But if you go in treating the client like a friend, everybody enjoys the experience more. Lesson learned. No caking for assholes means you can't be the asshole either.

No Caking for Assholes: Lesson 1

Hi, there! There's a good chance this blog post is not for you. I'm teaching a class called "No Caking for Assholes" at Cake Fest next spring. This is an introduction to the kinds of things we'll talk about in that class. If you are a Cakeapotamus client, you're already not an asshole. Thanks for that! This blog post and the class it goes with are for cake decorators who want more clients like mine. I make cakes for some of the best people in the world- it's only fair I should share how I got so lucky.

Alright, cakers, this is for you. Lesson One in No Caking for Assholes. And it's really easy.

First, we have to define what makes someone an asshole. For our purposes, an asshole is someone who doesn't appreciate what you do. We've all heard it:

"For a cake?!?!"

"What's the cheapest thing I can get?"

"I'll just watch youtube and make it myself."

I've talked to a lot of cake decorators in person and online, and the number of crazy stories about unreasonable client requests in amazing. I mean, really, really crazy. It's not too surprising though. Everybody who works with the general public has a crazy story.

But.

Sometimes, it isn't the client who's being unreasonable.

Sometimes, we set the tone for assholery.

I know, because I've been guilty of it. There are those days when you have all the ovens on, all the mixers going, the sink is full of bowls and pans that need to be washed, and you know you'll be up at least until midnight getting your orders done. Then the phone rings. And someone wants "just something simple" for this weekend.

Really? Who do they think they are, right? Calling YOU to ask for a cake when you're already up to your ears in work... what are they thinking?

Ummm... they're thinking they want a cake. And they thought of you. That's not a bad thing, you guys. They're not insulting you by waiting until the last minute to order. No crime has been committed here. Whether you can squeeze them in or not, you should thank them for thinking of you. You're not their mom- it's not your job to educate them on manners. I don't even think it's bad manners to try to give somebody your business.

If they ask, heck yes, tell them that booking 2, 4, 95 weeks in advance is what most of your clients do. But don't be a jerk about it. You want them to come back next time.

I know this because I'm a huge jerk. I'm blunt. I don't have a B.S.'er that enables me to be nice to people I don't like. It's not what I do. It's why I have an extremely talented crew of people who host parties for me. And so, it's taken me a while to learn this:

Lesson 1: Your clients won't appreciate what you do unless you appreciate them. 

It's not just a custom cake that you're selling. These people are coming to you, inviting you to be a part of their special event. A wedding, a birthday, a naughty bachelorette party.... whatever it is, it's special to them and they're considering  allowing you to be a part of it. Appreciate that.

If you sell cakes, you are not doing your clients a favor by making them a cake. You are doing a business transaction. Should they say, "Thank you?" Of course they should! But so should you.

When was the last time you did something to show you appreciate your clients? We've got two events coming up at Cakeapotamus this year: a Halloween party and a Cookies with Santa event. Both are free and open to the public. Because I really like the people I make cakes for- and I want to have them around more.